A Quick Rant About the 2025 Tesla Cybertruck

Okay, just hear me out before you read. 

Look, I get it. I hate this thing as much as you do, and I hate the neo-nazi freak that made it even more. However, at the D.C. Auto Show last month, I gave the Cybertruck a go because I wanted to form an opinion based on my experience. If you’re a car enthusiast, you should be at least curious about how every vehicle drives, regardless of its reputation. Also, I’m an automotive journalist with nothing better to do at 2 pm on a Saturday, so why wouldn’t I take the chance to drive something new?

The 2025 Tesla Cybertruck unfortunately needs no introduction, since seeing one on the road has probably ruined your day. The model I briefly test-drove was a Dual Motor Foundation Series that produces 600 horsepower and 525 lb-ft of torque from a 123-kilowatt-hour battery. I didn’t use any of those 600 horses on my drive, since I only went around the block and traffic was heavy.

I couldn’t stifle my laughs while taking pictures of this stainless steel fridge on wheels. Its massiveness and absurd look are beyond belief. Back in 2019, when [redacted] made a complete ass of himself and shattered the “armored glass” windows with a metal ball, I thought we all laughed the Cybertruck out of the room. But no. It exists, and here I am driving it.

Is it bad? Yes, of course. The steering wheel was annoying, the regen braking felt dangerously janky, the visibility was god awful, and its invasive 18-inch touchscreen display was the most confusing mess I’ve ever seen.

But if I said it’s the worst thing I’d driven, I’d be lying. 

Listen, I’ve driven some terrible cars, people. I once had to do a five-hour road trip in a 2022 Nissan Rouge Sport. I would rather walk through an active volcano barefoot than do that again. My first car was a 2001 Pontiac Grand Am with 243,000 miles, manual roll-up windows, tires that went flat if you looked at them funny, and broken AC. Now imagine sitting in that with bumper-to-bumper traffic on I-76 during a heatwave. Back when I worked at CarMax, our shuttle of the day was a clapped-out RAV-4 with a bloody tampon inside. Dead serious.

I’ve survived the worst of the automotive spectrum, and the Cybertruck is nowhere near as bad. Still, I will never, ever buy one, and I encourage everyone else reading this not to. It’s a painfully mediocre driving experience, but it’s not the worst. Can we at least agree to disagree on that?

Put the pitchforks down, please.